Edible Memoir

The end all and be all of meals – Breakfast. Morning, afternoon, evening. Breakfast everyday.

To avoid falling into the stereotypical misogynistic trope, it needs to be said, Kings aren’t the only ones that can put away a feast. Where are my hungry Queens at? Ladies get ready to loosen those metaphorical stays and slacken that emblematically sexist, corset, and if you don’t feel like a queen after this meal, then don’t come looking for me and just eat some cake…okay brioche.

Huzzah, for the the epitome of metaphorical female gender food, the egg. Versatile and filling. The perfect binding. The frothy companion. The baking god. The royal crown topping for your Eggs Benedict. The paragon of a breakfast fit for a monarch.

I’m a strong believer that when ordering an Eggs Benedict at a restaurant, you get a clear compass reading of the restaurant as a whole. True North, a ridiculous, tastebud bonanza that is the Eggs Benedict. A beautiful ratio of fats to acid. A flawless, creamy, buttery hollandaise sauce. And a liberal amount of artistic license taken for an overall thematic plate. I could talk all day about the beauty of balanced dish of Eggs Benedict, but I’ll move on and just talk about my favorite Benedict.

Crab Eggs Benedict. No, not Crab Cake Eggs Benedict, just crab. Tumbling piles of crustacean. Sensationally salty lumps of crab meat. Fresh out of the shell, moist and hearty. Although I have nothing against cakes, crab or other, in fact for the entirety of my life, ironically until the pandemic, I only had Eggs Benedict with the choice of some kind of cake underneath. I just love what fresh, unaltered crab meat does to a Benedict. Since hollandaise is basically just eggs, lemon, and little bit of salt & pepper, more or less a few spices, and of course BUTTER. Butter and Shellfish (However, crabs aren’t a fish, I’ve never understood why it was not named Shell Seafood, it just seems more general and more accurate), and there has been no improvements to this impossibly perfect pairing. Honestly, using just crab meat was a bit of an accident. I had forgot to buy crab cakes, but for some unknown reason, I had a bag of fresh crab meat in my fridge. I couldn’t tell you why, but alas fate intervened and my weak memory created one of my favorite dishes to date. Thus this recipe joined the others to be forever immortalized in my recipe book.

Hollandaise. Even though the word Holland is literally in the name of this sauce, I believe this sauce has French origins. I mean it is dripping in butter, it couldn’t be more french it’s practically sporting an extremely, politically incorrect platitude image of a striped mime, donning a beret, clutching a baguette.

Lemony Hollandaise Sauce

• Egg Yolks – about 4
• Lemon Juice – depends on the size of the lemon and how lemony you want the hollandaise
• Melted Butter – go with your instinct
• Salt & Pepper – to taste
• Cayenne – only if you can handle the heat
• Paprika – a sprinkle

With a double-boiler, or if you’re like me and you don’t actually own every niche kitchen gadget, make your own with a bowl (I use a clear glass bowl to keep an eye on the water below) and a small sauce pan. Crack a few eggs, for two people, I usually crack 4 eggs. You can’t make a hollandaise without cracking a few eggs, at least they aren’t fabregé. Separate the yolks from the whites, use the yolks for the sauce and you can save the whites in the refrigerator for later use (they’re perfect for a same-day baking escapade, especially if a recipe calls for an abundance of egg whites, of course remember to use the egg whites day of, they start to get a little funky starting the next day). However, sometimes I just cook up the egg whites and feed them to my dog, she loves egg whites!

Juice a lemon, I don’t usually use all of the lemon juice, but I definitely use a liberal amount to make sure the hollandaise is extra lemony (the extra lemoniness pairs deliciously well with seafood!) Just juice the whole lemon, you don’t know how much you’ll use until you need more and you don’t have any! Use a tiny whisk, or a regular sized one, who would know and who would judge. Whisk the mixture over the boiling water (your DIY double-boiler) until the mixture is twice the size. Meanwhile, melt butter in the microwave, use a ramekin, a microwave safe mug, or an actual liquid measuring cup. Just get it done. Of course, I have also just used room temperature butter, and sliced small pieces off to melt gently and slowly into the lemon and egg mixture. Laziness sometimes prevails. Whisk over heat and slowly add butter until the mixture is as thick as you want. Thick enough to seriously coat that spoon of yours (The Spoon Test) and thin enough to pour over your little poached eggs. Off the heat, add salt, pepper, and a sprinkle of cayenne & paprika to your own tasting! Let your tastebuds lead the way!

Semi-Pro Tip: If the hollandaise separates (the egg from the butter), crack another egg, separate the yolk and white, off the heat, whisk in the egg yolk until everything is reincorporated again.

Time for my least favorite task of the bunch. Poached Eggs. In all honesty, I had tried poaching eggs for the first couple of tries of Eggs Benedict, and then partially from laziness and from lack of time, I started just frying the eggs, over easy or medium. Be it either from guilt or some kind of self-torture, my goal was to perfect the poached egg, or at the very least, make it less of a chore. A friend of mine actually let me in the know about a couple tricks to achieve the perfect poached egg. The Double V trick. Vinegar (white) & Vortex. After many trial and errors, The Double V trick did the actual trick. I learned later that one could substitute another acid for the vinegar, such as lemon or wine. Fill that small sauce pan with water, add vinegar, and bring to an almost boil. The trick is to not actually boil the water, but to be always on the cusp of boiling. Grab yourself a little spoony-spoon, and create a vortex in the boiling water. Counterclockwise or clockwise, to each their own. With a ramekin, or some other tiny apparatus, gently add the egg into the swirling vortex. Boil until desired doneness, some like it runny others more solid, personally I appreciate a runny yolk, you know the one that appears all over food blogger short clips, of someone breaking the yolk and taping a slow-mo video of yolk running over food, that kind. Remove and tenderly arrange said poached egg atop crab heap. Plop it over roasted potatoes, a slab of polenta, or toasted english muffin halves.

Of course, I can’t serve a meal without adding greens, either in the main or on the side, I love to throw spinach into everything, I constantly have a huge container of raw, or frozen spinach, waiting in reserve to add some color to my art. Or as a side. Asparagus. Sautéed Spinach, even Raw Spinach. Raw side salad, Broccolini, give me all the green!

Hollandaise, Poached Egg, Crab Pile, Stack of Roasted Potatoes. Repeat 2x. Do it the same or layer it differently, to each their own. Anyway you slice it, this dish will have you searching for your throne.

Edible Elements

• Crab Meat (de-shelled, rinsed) or Sliced Ham
• Eggs, the whole egg for the poaching
• Vinegar, or other type of acid
• Chives, for topping
• Greens, Asparagus, Spinach, Salad fixings (I do love some mixed greens, julienned carrots, a couple of croutons, and a balsamic vinaigrette), Broccolini, go crazy with the greens
• Optional: Potatoes (Roasted with onions and garlic), Polenta, English muffin
• Optional Vegetables: Sautéed Mushrooms, Sliced Avocado & Tomato (Let your tastebuds visit California for a meal)
• Hotsauce, not sponsored by Crystal hot sauce, but a huge fan of dousing my dishes in their sauce